I just starting working out again and I must say, I am very proud of myself. I have been at least 3-4 times a week in the past couple of weeks, and still have that push to keep going. I was very athletic growing up. My high school insisted that we play a sport every season, and though I wasn't the best in each activity I participated in, I was in a whole lot better shape than I am in right now.
I decided to go back to the gym for a number of reasons. 1...the monthly fee is faithfully being deducted from checking account each month, and they don't give a care that I haven't been in months. 2...sad to say I recently found out that I need to watch my cholesterol level. "Come on Melissa, you are only 29!" 3...I just want to feel better about myself and have more energy.
Yesterday after work I went to the local YMCA. I really don't like going to this Y because it is so small and the ventilation is horrible. The smell alone is cause enough stay home. But, once you get over that first initial shock you are good to go. I started my normal routine on the treadmill and after about 30min moved to the free weights. It is there I began this whole thinking process. I watched girls in all shapes and sizes sweat and pant striving to achieve whatever goal they had given themselves. I watched men of all ages grunt and strain as they lifted heavy weights trying to perfect their arms, legs, and abs. And I began to wonder. Will we ever get to the place where we are truly happy with ourselves? Will there ever come a time when we don't care what other people think and we don't care about our imperfections? Will we ever get to the place where we work out just because we know that it is healthy for us and its good for our well being? I have struggled in the past with self-esteem issues; hating to look into a mirror and afraid of what I may see. But through the grace of God overcame that battle. I realized yesterday that as I continue to come into my own and continue to get to know myself, I must do things in life for me. Not to look like the person on the magazine cover, or to win the approval of family members or the opposite sex. Not even to fit in. But do it just for me and realize no matter what that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
Just a thought...
~M
